Creative Writing Paper
Use “Dear Dr. Roof” letters to base your paper. Base your advice for the situation in the letters on the materials, incorporating 4 citations from assigned readings. Citations must include the source (class reader)and page numbers. Your 4 citations must come from 4 different sources. (Different articles/ Chapters). Include in your answer experiences from your own/friend’s relationships, opinions, and values.
The grades for these papers will be based on: (1) how well you present your advice; (2) essay structure (introduction with a strong thesis statement, body, and conclusion); (3) clarity and use of college-level English; and (4) promptness. Though there must be a thesis, intro, body, and conclusion like other formal essays, you may structure the essay as a letter beginning with â€œDear _____â€, addressing the letter-writer as “you”, and concluding with â€œSincerely, Dr. Roofâ€. Your main piece of advice to the letter writer should be your thesis
Name of Course:
Your situation is pretty disturbing but not unique. You need to understand that there is nothing like a normal relationship. In every relationship, there is bound to be varying expectations from both parties. Various differences arise, some of the cultural and others personal. In the case of cultural differences, the parents of either party may pose a major objection, like in your situation. The best thing is to take everything in good stead and try, with time, to portray yourself to your boyfriend’s parents as the right woman for their son. Just take time and seek the acceptance of your boyfriend’s parents and the rest will be alright. Secondly, you need to get your friend to commit fully to the relationship.
As Hassan points out, interracial relationships come with their trials and tribulations, not just for lovers, but also their families (192). However, you may take courage in the knowledge that traditionally, parents confidently believe that there is nothing abnormal about a few quarrels here and there is a healthy relationship.
The first thing towards seeking acceptance from the parents is to appreciate the fact that your culture is different from theirs. Start acting in a way that shows that you do not see anything wrong with cultures being different. Do not act as if you want to fit into their culture because you will not succeed in this. In fact, by doing this, you will appear like a person who is not genuine.
You also need to understand that love does not know any boundaries. As long as you can understand each other, no third party should get in between you and the one that your heart yearns for. It is true that language barriers may sometimes pose a real threat to your future communication tendencies, especially when your boyfriend’s parents are around. This should not stop you from trying to learn a thing or two about your friend’s cultural mannerism conventions. You should do this as a sign of showing that you care about his cultural heritage rather than as a way of trying to ‘fit in’.
From what you say, it appears as if you feel more strongly about your guy than he feels for you. This scenario is not abnormal in a relationship either. It is not abnormal to stretch your fantasies to life-long proportions. However, you need to be cautious about the way you get your guy into getting along with you without making him feel like he is being nagged too much too often.
Your boyfriend’s parents may be influenced by the stereotypes that exist relating to relationships between people of different races. You need to discuss with your boyfriend often about the nuances of interracial dating and the challenges that you should expect to face along the way. This approach is useful for preparing you for any potential future disagreements. If you try to look around for popular opinion from confidantes, friends, and relatives, the answers you get may not be very pleasing. This may mislead the two of you into thinking that your love relationship is an odd one. Instead of creating a room for such a scenario, you should start to cultivate the power of positive thinking and objective reasoning. Think about only those things that matter to the two of you. Think about the things that will make both of you happy rather than those that the world expects you to dwell on. As you rightly put it, only the two of you know what is best for your lives; you just need to go for it.
Leung, in an article entitled Sex and the multiracial city, observes that there is a blueprint in the success of East-meets-West romantic relationships success (194). Leung highlights the views of Dr. FaizalSahukhan, who points out that as multiracial relationships continue to become a common phenomenon, there is an ever-growing demand for precise dating advice that tackles cultural differences (194). It is perhaps the need for this specific advice that motivated Dr. Sahukhan to author a book entitled Dating the Ethnic Man: Strategies for Success, whose target group was Caucasian women like you. You need to read this book and learn a thing or two about how to endear yourself to a family from an entirely different cultural background.
Elsewhere, the article that appeared in the New York Times, December 6, 2009 edition titled Even in English, a Language Gap, may enlighten you on a thing or two about what sort of views to expect from your friends (196). In this article, the author expresses the views of a Latina girl who advises her friend against dating a foreign guy. The Latina girl points out to she herself dated a German guy for three years, and even met his parents, only to learn that he had always had another girlfriend all this time.
In the New York Times article, though, the Latino girl attributes the failure in the relationship to the ingenuity of expressing one’s romantic feelings in a foreign language. The assumption here is that a German can never say ‘I love you’ and mean it since to him, the words just do not seem right the way they would if they were said in German. The same case applies to a foreigner who tries to reciprocate by expressing his love for her German boyfriend using the German equivalent phrase ‘ichliebedich’ (196).
Of course, there is no truth in this perception. The Latino girl was merely trying to respond emotionally, as opposed to objectively, to the misfortune of losing his German boyfriend. Cultural and linguistic differences aside, people break up all the time and blame the outcome on different things. My point here is that if you encountered someone with such a strong perception, which appears so hard to beat, it may seem as if you are not treading on the right path, which is not the case.
Lastly, you need to understand the language conventions of your boyfriend as well as those of your boyfriend’s side of the family. Sometimes, different cultures can express the same conventions in strangely different ways. You have to be a brilliant mind reader so that whenever you lose the verbal cues, you do not lose the non-verbal ones as well.
In order to understand what I mean here, you should consider the case of William Winters, a young black man who says that his family appeared outwardly supportive of his personal choice of dating outside his race. However, notes Herbert, Winter’s grandmother always expressed her concern (200). The grandmother resisted the interracial marriage because, having lived in the days gone by, she had been victimized a lot by racism and ‘knew better’. However, Winter’s experience is an interestingly helpful one to you since his dating decision had a positive outcome. Herbert reports that the couple married in March 2010, in a colorful ceremony held in Baton Rouge.
In summary, you have a great opportunity to prove to your boyfriend’s parents that you and your boyfriend are merely pursuing what you feel is best for your lives. Just dispel negative views and perceptions from friends and spend more time with your boyfriend. Be patient with him and only explain your feelings to him when he is in an upbeat mood. In other words, the two of you should relate to each other in a natural, reassuring way, without ever putting your parents out of perspective.
Hassan, Asman. Interracial relationships: Can it work? Brown Girl Magazine, February 14, 2010.
Herbert, Emily. A new shade of normal: interracial couples face challenges, yet growing acceptance, The Advocate, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, November 15, 2009.
Leung, Wency. Sex and the multiracial city, The Globe and Mail, December 18, 2009.
The New York Times, Even in English, a language gap, December 6, 2009.
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